Women with a Story to Tell 4

The Patience and Obedience of Sarai 

Sarai and Abram have a problem. They are childless. God has promised something better, but God seems long delayed. They adopted Abram’s brother’s son: Lot. However, Lot has proven to be unworthy of being Abram’s heir. Lot left them, chose city life, and got into deep trouble (Genesis 13 and 14). The word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision, and Abram replied that that word seemed doubtful since he continued to be childless (Genesis 15: 1-11). Abram asked whether or not his slave, Eliezar of Damascus, was supposed to be his heir? Both of these were culturally acceptable ways of adopting an heir. But, not acceptable to God.

 Next, it is Sarai who has an idea. Her plan was another culturally accepted practice that began with the husband impregnating their hand-maiden. When she gave birth, the wife would sit behind her and embrace her. Thus, when the child was born it would appear to be the wife’s child. There was no In Vitro Fertilization in those days. 

 “Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, bore him no children. She had an Egyptian slave whose name was Hagar, and Sarai said to Abram, ’You see that the LORD has prevented me from bearing children; go in to my slave; it may be that I shall obtain children by her’. And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai” (Genesis 16: 1-2). 

 Is that a difficult thing for a wife to do? Is it more difficult than to bear the culturally-induced shame of childlessness? I don’t know; I'm not in a position to judge. Go ask someone who wants children and has waited a long time but is now passing child-bearing age without a child. Or, maybe better, just imagine it. Asking itself may rouse up shame.

 Notice a couple of things about the passage above. First, Abram and Sarai owned slaves and so this plan was possible, whether we like it or not. Second, the slave in question, a woman named Hagar the Egyptian, has not been included in the decision-making. Why are we not surprised? 

 Third, Sarai places the blame on the Lord. However, that is also culturally appropriate since, for ancient Hebrews, every event was in the hands of God. There is no sense that God does good things and the devil does bad things. Instead, God is Lord of all, whether we think what happens is good or bad. Fourth, Sarai speaks out of her culturally informed worldview. She claims that it might be possible to “obtain children by her.” A question not addressed: Was it acceptable to the handmaid?

 Finally, look at Abram’s response. “Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.” Later, Abram listens to the voice of Sarai again when she demands that Abram send Hagar and their son away (Genesis 21: 10-14). 

 For those who make too much of Peter’s admonition to wives to obey their husbands, this puts a caution against overplaying their hand. Peter is talking mainly to wives who have already disobeyed by rejecting their husband’s religion and family gods (I Peter 3:1; R. M. Groothuis, Good News for Women: A Biblical Picture of Gender Equality, 1997. Page 172-173). That was unheard of in First Century Roman society.

Roman society, by the way, kept women socially and legally ‘weak’ (see I Peter 3: 7), and so the protection of a man was necessary (not because women themselves are weak). Peter cites this same Sarai/Sarah as a positive example of obedience (I Peter 3: 6), yet we read that her husband listened to her. After this admonition, Peter does admit that both husband and wife are spiritual heirs of the gracious gift of life (I Peter 3: 7). 

 Will Sarai’s plan work? Will the result, that is, the son of Hagar and Abram, be considered now as the son of Sarai and Abram? Is that enough for the son to be the promised seed of Abram? The patience and obedience of Sarai are being tested, and she is testing the boundaries. Sarai is indeed an example from which we can learn several lessons.