Women with a Story to Tell. The Good Wife.

I welcome Guest Author for today’s devotional: Samantha Owen.

If you are a woman who has spent any amount of time around the church, you will have at one time or another been invited to a women’s conference or Bible study where you will have heard about the “Proverbs 31” woman. (Cue the eye rolls.) She is presented as the ultimate standard of biblical womanhood, the metric by which each woman ought to measure and judge herself– devoted, diligent, family-oriented, and business-savvy. In short, she is perfect both in and outside her home. 

Who can find a woman of valor? It is interesting that this passage is so often presented as something that women uniquely need to hear and learn from, seeing as in the original context of the chapter, it is recorded as a mother giving advice to her son. We can sum up the purpose of Proverbs 31 as relationship advice from a parent to their child. While the perfect woman described in the chapter does not actually exist, she sets a standard that both men and women interested in pursuing a romantic relationship should pay close attention to. 

Dr. Mike has spent the last few weeks reviewing King Lemuel’s mother and breaking down the advice she offers her son about how to be a godly man In Proverbs 31:1-9. Proverbs 31:10-31 breaks down her image of the ideal wife for her son, or how a godly woman should act. In the context of a modern reading, we can perhaps look at the whole of Proverbs 31 as a full picture of biblical personhood, covering a range of qualities and characteristics that can be applied to people with varying duties and responsibilities. It also contains a universal truth regarding romantic relationships: if you want to find a worthy person to spend your life with, you have to first be a worthy person. Now that King Lemuel’s mother has set the kingly standard she holds her son to in verses 1-9, she can explain the standard he should hold for a partner. 

King Lemuel’s mother breaks down her idea of a suitable wife for her son through an alphabetical acrostic poem, in which each line begins with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet in sequential order. Providing this in alphabetical order creates a sense of structure that emphasizes logical order over emotion, acting almost as a checklist of characteristics for the ideal woman. Acrostic poems create a sense of completeness, as they cover the alphabet from beginning (aleph) to end (tav). The acrostic nature also makes the poem a mnemonic, or memory device, making the information shared easier to remember, like how you might teach a child to Never Eat Soggy Waffles to remember the cardinal directions. 

Earlier in Proverbs chapters 1-9, Solomon presents two contrasting female figures in Wisdom and the Loose Woman. One is the voice of reason that should be listened to and followed, while the other is a destructive force that should be avoided at all costs. The first personification of Wisdom as woman comes in Proverbs 1:20, in which “Wisdom shouts in the streets. She cries out in the public square.” Solomon is well-acquanted with wisdom. In 1 Kings 3, God is impressed with Solomon’s devotion to him, so impressed that He offers to bless Solomon with whatever he asks for. Of all the wealth, power, or influence he could have asked for, Solomon asks for wisdom so that he can rule well. The Lord promises to give Solomon a “wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or will ever have!” To give wisdom a female voice is an interesting choice, especially considering Solomon’s personal experiences with women. 

Solomon’s characterization of the Loose Woman begins in Proverbs 2:16 about the “immoral woman” who has “abandoned her husband” and “ignores the covenant she made before God.” Rather famously, Solomon is led astray by his many wives from other lands who worship other gods, who eventually turn his heart to worshipping other gods as well. Both great wisdom and great foolishness can be found in trusting in advice from others, and perhaps Solomon chooses to set up these two opposing women, Lady Wisdom and the Loose Woman, because he knew the influence that women had over his own choices. This may be the reason that he chose to include Proverbs 31– as the woman King Lemuel’s mother describes exhibits many of the characteristics of Lady Wisdom herself as Solomon describes her; she is the antithesis of the Loose Woman whose home is a gate to the grave. As Lady Wisdom serves as a teacher for young men and women throughout the rest of the Proverbs, so does the woman described in its final chapter serve as a practical example of godly wisdom as she goes about her real world tasks and duties.

The Proverbs 31 woman is often named as the ‘Woman of Valor” or “eshet chayil.” This same expression is used by Boaz to describe Ruth in Ruth 3:11, and is the only other time in all of Scripture that chayil (valor) is used to describe a woman. Chayil is most commonly a term that is used in reference to military strength or efficiency, such as in Judges 6:12 where the judge Gideon is described as a “mighty man of valor” or in reference to David in 1 Samuel 16:18 as a “brave warrior.” 

For Ruth and the Proverbs 31 “Woman of Valor,” military prowess may not be the connotation, but courage and resilience certainly translate to their situations. Ruth is determined to stay with and care for her mother-in-law after the deaths of the men in their family, even though it would be easier for her to return to her own family and try to secure a new husband from her own people. Boaz, her employer and future husband, extols her as one known to be an “eshet chayil” for her hard work, her determination, and her desire to care for those who depend on her regardless of the cost to herself. These same traits are exhibited by the Woman of Valor in Proverbs 31; she works hard, she tends to the needy, she exhibits wisdom and grace, and she shows great care for those who depend on her.

Proverbs 31:10-31 is, therefore, not a passage meant exclusively for women’s conferences or studies; it details a practical example of leading a life of godly wisdom that we all can stand to learn from. Who can find a woman of valor? As we spend the next several weeks breaking down the qualities described, we should examine what it means to be a person of valor: someone who is worthy of our closest relationships and companions, who is preceded by a noble reputation, and is a champion of hard-fought wisdom and virtue.