Women with a Story to Tell. The Ideal Person.

 King Lemuel’s Mother has given him sound advice about addictions and lusts, that is, anything that distracts him from the main concerns of God, what we often call the laws and commandments of the Lord. I would emphasize that we have learned from Jeremiah that God gives these laws not because he is a tyrant, but because they are for our own good. Following them leads to a lasting relationship with God as well as an inclusive and supportive society. Thus, we refuse to follow God’s laws “to our own hurt” (Jeremiah 7:6). 

 Now Lemuel’s Mother takes up a theme often heard in early rock music. “How will I know that she really loves me?” “Or is this just make believe?” “My mother told me, better shop around.”

 The literary vehicle that she uses to send her message is a old favorite; something like “The Top Ten Characteristics of the Idea Woman!”

 On the surface, the ideal woman (or the ideal man, which I am not) seems to shift with every generation. In our generational memory, we have had the ‘It’ girl during the 1920s, a notion that originated among the British but for Americans it took shape in the Movie “It” starring Clara Bow. Since that time we have had many iterations (e.g., the Bobbie Soxers in the late 1940s and early 1950s) of what the ideal woman should be like. We even have contrasting ideals, like the Bobbie Soxers verses Betty Crocker of the mid-20th century. 

 The point is that the ‘ideal woman’ and the ‘ideal man’ is usually a composite of the preferred features of an era even though no woman or man stands out in every category. Perhaps that is why Lemuel’s Mother begins with the point that it is difficult if not impossible to find all-round perfection in anyone.

Proverbs 31:10. A woman of strength who can find?    She is far more precious than jewels.

 If it is rare to find a precious jewel; it is rarer still to find a woman who is perfect in every respect, and even more difficult to live up to her expectations of you! 

 Lemuel’s Mother recognizes that she is setting a high bar, perhaps unattainable in the real world. However, the list of attributes can be a good guide even if no one measures up consistently in every category. 

 Translators of the English Bible have offered different versions of what to call this ideal woman. Beginning with the King James Version, some have used the Hebrew adjective to describe the desirable wife: “Who can find a virtuous woman.”

Others have translated the word as ‘worthy’, ‘noble’, ‘‘capable’ or ‘competent’, and some have even called her a “woman of strength” or “a valiant woman.” This range of meaning deserves a closer look.

 The adjective, hayil, is used elsewhere in Proverbs; "an excellent wife is the crown of her husband” (12:4). Outside of the Book of Proverbs, beginning with Genesis 47:6, Pharaoh says to Joseph, “if you know that there are capable men among them (i.e., your brothers), put them in charge of my livestock.” In Exodus 15:2 Moses’ sister Miriam sings their victory song beginning with this phrase, “The LORD is my strength and my might, and he has become my salvation.”

 The angel of the LORD used the same word when he called Gideon to lead the armies of Israel against the Midianites. He said, “The LORD is with you, you mighty warrior (or you man of valor).” It was true for a while; however, Gideon did not measure up in every category. What happened? 

 First, Gideon did not immediately believe the word of the angel who was sent by God. Remember, Gideon was the one who insisted on the ‘fleece test’. Put out a handful of wool out on the ground overnight with the proviso that the dew moistens only the fleece and not the ground. And it was so. Still wary, Gideon asked that the reverse happen the next night. In the morning the fleece was dry while the ground around it was wet with dew. Gideon was finally convinced, so he gathered troops and went to war with the Midianites.

 To protect Gideon from pride and make sure that everyone knew that the victory belonged to the Lord, God instructed Gideon to release any troops who admitted to being fearful. He lost 22,000 soldiers. Then God instructed the remaining soldiers to go to a stream so Gideon could observe getting a drink of water. God instructed him to take only those who knelt to bring the water to their mouths with their hands. Gideon’s forces were reduced from 10,000 to 300. 

 On the night of the battle, the fear of God shook the Midianite troops. The 300 surrounded the camp and, at a signal, they broke their clay pots in which they were hiding torches. The Midianites imagined a much larger army out there in the darkness, and they fled. God got the credit, but Gideon did all right, didn’t he? After all, he was a man of valor, a mighty man, wasn’t he?

 Yes, so the angel said. But Gideon followed his victory with an excess of vengeance. He destroyed an Israelite town that did not help him in chasing down the kings of the Midianites. Then, Gideon conflated YHWH with Ba’al by making an idol for the people to worship. By the time Gideon died, the people had returned to Ba’al worship. What’s worse is that Gideon had a late-born son with a concubine of his who grew up to kill Gideon’s other sons and then declare himself the king of Israel. At that time, Israel was a ‘no kings’ society, so eventually some of the Israelites rose up and killed him. The end of Gideon was not nearly as good as the middle years when he served as a judge. Nobody’s perfect, even if they are called a mighty person of valor who is competent and capable.

 What is King Lemuel’s mother trying to say? I think she is only suggesting some of the characteristics of an honorable wife. Lemuel should look for these characteristics but not expect these to be performed every day (there is not enough time in 24 hours) and not to expect perfection. She will be no more perfect than you are, but striving toward perfection is a worthy attribute to have. St. Paul and St. Peter concur.

” Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then deeds of power, then gifts of healing, forms of assistance, forms of leadership, and various kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work powerful deeds? Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? But strive for the greater gifts. And I will show you an even more excellent way.”

 “If I speak in the tongues of humans and of angels but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers and understand all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions and if I hand over my body so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 

“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable; it keeps no record of wrongs; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends” (I Corinthians 12:27–13:8).

“Therefore, beloved, while you are waiting for these things, strive to be found by him at peace, without spot or blemish…” (II Peter 2:14).