Women with a Story to Tell. A Woman of Valor.

Guest author: Samantha Owen. 

When I was still teaching high school English, one of the many sayings I would incorporate into my vocabulary when trying to teach my students the quality of good writing is “SHOW me, don’t just TELL me.” A good writer doesn’t tell you that something smells bad; they describe the behaviors that indicate that something smells bad– someone is gagging, people are holding their noses or pulling their shirts up into makeshift masks, the air grows thick and hot as suddenly everyone in the room turns into a mouth breather. It can be a difficult concept to teach, but when the students get it, it takes their writing from vague ideas to specific, grounded pictures for their reader to visualize.

I have a special appreciation for the fact that King Lemuel’s mother spells out for her son exactly the sort of behaviors to look for that demonstrate the most desirable traits in a partner. She shows him, rather than tells him. And she doesn’t leave much room for anyone to wonder what she might mean! 

Proverbs 31:13-14

She finds wool and flax 

and busily spins it.

She is like a merchant’s ship, 

bringing her food from afar.

At first glance, this is a daunting résumé of work. The Proverbs 31 woman must be an absolute machine if this is how she conducts herself in her daily life! But when we take a closer look, I think what is much more likely here is that these are practical examples of the kinds of work you would find a hardworking woman to be doing, rather than a list of duties a woman has to do every single day of her life to be considered hardworking. King Lemuel’s mother shows, rather than tells, the different qualities of a hardworking woman. The picture that she paints is of a woman who is responsible, considerate, and resourceful. 

If we break these verses down by each example, we can see these characteristics clearly. In verse 13, “She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.” Wool and flax are materials that were used primarily to make textiles and clothing. Wool, of course, comes from sheep and flax comes from a plant that is then used to make linen. The Hebrew verb used here that translates to “finds” or “seeks” indicates her resourcefulness; these materials are ones that she has to work to locate and bring home to work with. She sources what she needs to take care of her family’s basic needs. 

The next verse emphasizes this characteristic through figurative language, comparing the “Woman of Valor” to a “merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar.” Merchant ships brought in valuable, important goods from all over the world that people would then barter and trade for. They would often travel over risky routes, avoiding bad weather and rough seas to bring necessities and delicacies to people. She doesn’t just settle for the easiest or most convenient options but goes out of her way to find the best for her family. 

 In the story of Ruth, we can see a biblical example in action of hardworking resourcefulness and dauntless devotion. Ruth, a Moabite woman, has a difficult choice in front of her. Famine in Moab has killed her husband, father-in-law, and brother-in-law. Her mother-in-law, Naomi, is returning back to her hometown in Judah because she has heard that they have good crops again. It would be easier for Ruth to stay in Moab and find herself a new husband among her own people, something her sister-in-law, Orpah, chooses to do. This isn’t presented as a wrong choice! Naomi, out of her own care for her daughters-in-law, encourages them to take the easier path and find security in a new marriage. But Ruth has made Naomi her family, and so she makes the harder choice to ensure that her family is taken care of.  Ruth demonstrates devotion and bravery in the face of obstacles by making the following vow to Naomi in Ruth 1:16

Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.”

 It is no coincidence that this vow is often used in weddings. Ruth’s devotion to her mother-in-law resonates with those who have chosen new families for themselves. Even if staying with what is familiar is easier or more convenient, the harder routes are worth navigating for the sake of our loved ones. Ruth does not know what her life will be like in Judah, but if that is where Naomi is going, then she, like the far traveling merchant ship, is going to stick beside her. 

 It is important to note that widows are dependent on the care of their communities, as they do not have a man to provide for them.  Ruth does not take a passive stance and wait for that care to be extended; she actively seeks out what they need. Ruth says to Naomi, “Let me go out into the harvest fields to pick up the stalks of grain left behind by anyone who is kind enough to let me do it.” This is called gleaning, which is a social welfare practice written into Old Testament law. We can see this in Leviticus 19:10 and Deuteronomy 24:19, the latter of which says “When you are harvesting your crops and forget to bring in a bundle of grain from your field, don’t go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigners, orphans, and widows.” Ruth has apparently learned of this practice and puts it to use, going to the fields to gather grain for her household. She sees the need that they have, and she does what is needed to fulfill it, seeking out the solution herself. 

 Her efforts do not go unnoticed by those around her. In Ruth 2:7, when the field owner Boaz notices her in his fields and asks about who she is, he is told by one of his fieldhands “she has been hard at work” ever since asking to pick up the leftovers. These are men who regularly work out in these fields and are well-used to the labor required to harvest grain. The fieldhand’s praise of her commends the effort she was putting into collecting resources for herself and her mother-in-law. 

 The community’s recognition of her character is further emphasized by Ruth’s conversation with Boaz, who encourages her to follow behind the workers in his fields, as he has instructed them to leave behind some grain for her and to treat her gently. In her gratitude, she asks what she did to deserve this kindness, as she is “only a foreigner” (ironic, considering that gleaning is intended for the foreigner, the orphan, and the widow; she checks off two of those boxes). 

 Boaz’s response, however, dismissed the fact that she is a foreigner and instead focuses on the quality of her character, saying in Ruth 2:11, “ Yes, I know. But I also know about everything you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband. I have heard how you left your father and mother and your own land to live here among complete strangers.” Her hard work, her dedication, and her resourcefulness have preceded her. Before they ever meet, Boaz is already familiar with the fact that Ruth is a good, hardworking woman, who protects and provides for her family. 

It is no surprise then, that as I discussed two weeks ago, Ruth is described using the same language that is used to describe the Proverbs 31 woman: eshet chayil, or 'woman of valor'. She illustrates the characteristics of the myth-like, idealized Proverbs 31 woman in a way that feels grounded and real. King Lemuel’s mother gives her son individual examples to look for when finding the best partner; Ruth demonstrates what those examples look like in an everyday, real woman whose life is marked by hard work, resourcefulness, and devotion.